To Santa's House We Go

Three days before Christmas, I got a call from my mom. It was two o'clock in the afternoon. She said, "What are you doing?" I always know that can be a loaded question. So, I asked what she wanted. She told me my niece Monica wanted to take a picture with Santa, and that she could not do it alone. Then she added that we needed to be there by 5. It has been a really tough year for Monica, and I just could not disappoint her. So, we stopped wrapping Christmas gifts, and off we went to the mall. Yes, you heard me right. I was summoned to the mall three days before Christmas, and I actually went. What resulted was a really good picture, probably the best picture Monica has ever taken with Santa. And, Livie was not crying, either. It turned out really well. Now we have a great picture of the first Christmas (that Livie was awake through - she was 1 month old last year) with Santa. It did turn out to be really fun.

One today!

My little miracle is one year old today. I remember a year ago as I sat in the hospital room in anxious expectation. I had no idea the love I would have for my little girl. She is perfect. She now has six teeth and is basically walking. Thank you, Lord, for my sweet little miracle and the last year you have given us with her. I am so blessed!

Carebears and Twinkies

When I was a child, I loved Care Bears. I didn't just love them. I LOVED them. They were all over my room. My sheets, beadspread, curtains, and stuffed animals were all Care Bears. So, I thought it only fitting this summer when I saw something special to pick it up. Now you can see that something special on my something special.

And Twinkies. What can you say about Twinkies and how can it possibly relate to this topic? Well, while I was in the trailer at the camp ground taking this picture, my husband was out by the camp fire with the guys roasting Twinkies. Yep, you heard that right. My husband was roasting Twinkies over the camp fire. I just had to laugh.

My little girl got to be a little yellow bear and my husband got to roast a little yellow treat - what a great day.

And Two and Three and Four

I was so excited when I noticed that Livie had her first tooth. What I did not realize was that sometimes teeth decide to break through in groups. Within a week and a half period, Livie has now gotten her first, her second, her third, and her fourth tooth. My little girl is growing up so quickly! I would post a picture, but she won't let us near her mouth. She is very protective of it right now. I am just so proud of her!

First Tooth

Livie was a grump all day yesterday for her daddy. He is now staying home with her. I love that. He was very happy when I got home yesterday because she had been very clingy and crying on and off all day (mostly on).

She felt slightly warm to me, so I gave her some tylenol. It was clear she was not feeling well. I got a little nervous thinking maybe she was coming down with the flu or something. I soon realized it was not something nearly that dire.

Livie loves to put people's fingers in her mouth. She tries to chew on them, bite them, suck on them. It is funny because we have to try to come away from holding her without having slobbery hands. It does not usually work.

When I went to pick her up, she put my hand in hers like she was going to suck on it yet again. However, when it came close to her mouth, she pursed her lips and would not let my finger get close. That made me wonder. So, I tried to stick my finger in to feel her gums. I wanted to know if maybe they were swollen. I found something different.

I found a TOOTH!

It had already broken through the skin! It was not the normal first tooth, either. It was the one next to the middle front rather than one of the two middle teeth. We were so excited. I called everyone in my family, including my sister on Vacation in Florida. So, at ten and a half months old, Livie has her first tooth peeking through. I love life and the simple joys it brings.

Family Closeness

The last week has been a very hard week for everyone in my family. My beautiful niece Megan went to live with Jesus in Heaven. She is now with my Granny, who also went to live with Him just two short months ago.

Losing two such wonderful people in such a short time has made me realize several things.

1. Never forget to hug anyone when you have the chance. You will never regret the time you spent with them or the love you shared.

2. You can feel deep sorrow for your own loss and still feel joy for someone who is no longer in pain. I really know now what the word "bittersweet" means.

3. God is good and faithful even in the midst of our own trials. He provides great peace, comfort, and hope for the future.

I will cherish my family every day I get to have them. I feel pure joy seeing the face of my darling child Livie, and I know that she is a gift from God. I will take each day as they come and try to live them to the fullest, knowing how soon the end comes sometimes. I pray God will grant us many more days as a family together, and I hope I remember to be thankful for each one of them together.

Put a sock in it!

Isn't it great when we can say that and not be mean? I saw her doing this and had to have a picture. It just made me smile.

Family Weekend

This weekend was what you might call a family weekend. My niece is in the hospital at Riley Children's Hospital. (If you are reading this and are a believer, could you send up a prayer for their family?) My family gathered there this weekend.

I made the three hour trip to Indianapolis with Livie. She slept two and a half hours of the trip. I was so thankful. She is a delightful child, unless she is awake in the car and not wanting to be there. We then spent Saturday through Monday hanging out at the hospital, walking around, and just being. Sometimes in the midst of a crisis that is the easiest thing, to just be.

Livie cooed at the nurses and flirted with the doctor's (I am training her early.:)) She provided some much-needed comic relief, especially to my other niece who calls Livie her "litte sister cousin." I love that she does that, and I hope they will always be that close.

We celebrated my dad's birthday on Sunday in the Activities Room on the hospital wing where my niece is. We brought in Applebee's and got a cake from Kroger for him. It was nice to have something noteworthy in a good way to celebrate.

While I would not say it was a great weekend because of why we were there, I would say that I love my family more and more each day. I weep with my sister and her family as they work through the hardest days of their lives. I pray for guidance and comfort for them and the rest of my family after the recent loss of my grandma and the ongoing hurt of slowly losing my niece. I thank the Lord for every precious moment we have left with her. And, I thank the Lord for Livie, who reminds me that God is great and that He answers prayer everyday.

Sleeping Issues

My dear sweet Livie,

I wish at night you would go to sleep.
I wish you wouldn't make a peep.
I wish I didn't see the stars all night.
I wish the crying was not so bright.
I wish I had gotten more than two hours of shut eye.
I wish I wasn't going to work so sleep deprived.

But in the middle of the night. . .

I wouldn't trade your cuddly hugs.
I wouldn't trade your dear sweet love.
I wouldn't trade hearing you yell my name.
I wouldn't trade playing our sweet little games.

I'm so glad to have you; you should never fear.
Your my precious little jewel and I'm blessed you are near.
Thank you for your smiles and the joy on your face.
Each time I see you, my bad moods you erase.

Now, having said all of that. . .
Could you sleep through the night for Mommy?

Please?

But even if you don't. . .
I will still love you forever!!!!!!!

Frustrations with Non-allergic Allergic Reactions

Today I am just frustrated. We took Livie in for allergy testing on Monday. We had a really nice doctor who took a couple of hours to thoroughly check her out. His answer was that she has no allergies.

NO ALLERGIES?

She breaks out every time we try to feed her. She gets cold-like symptoms. Now she even has itchy red eyes from only two days of being back on foods! I am so frustrated.

The doctor said that her immune system is just over-reacting to the food that it takes in and is acting like she is allergic to the food even though she really is not. He said she should grow out of it by the time she is a year or a year and a half old. That means that she could be having pseudo-allergic reactions for another 6 to 12 months, and I am just supposed to be okay with that.

Last night she was up several times in the middle of the night. By 2:30, the third time I had gotten up with her, she was inconsolable. She did not want a bottle. She did not want her binky. She just wanted to be held and comforted. She simply did not feel well. I gave her some Tylenol and held her for a while. Finally, we just took her to bed with us. I feel so sorry for her. This is not something I can fix.

I have two options. I can just stop feeding her anything but her bottle, which I do not want to do. She will not be able to eat any food with a spoon that way, and she really wants to. The other option is give it to her a couple days on food and a couple days off. The couple days on will produce the allergic reaction which will induce us to stop any feedings except a bottle. The couple days off will include oral antihistamines, Benadryl, and Tylenol to make her feel better. Eating should not be this hard for someone who is not actually allergic to anything.

Allergic Reactions and a Broken Fence

Yesterday was not my day. It all started out when I realized that Livie was breaking out again with a rash after eating green beans. It now seems that she has a reaction to rice cereal, oatmeal cereal, and green beans. I am starting to worry that she will not be able to eat anything. I called the doctor again about her eating issues and they are referring her to an allergist for allergy testing. Then we will actually be able to know what she can and cannot have. For now she is stuck with just her bottle again. Dear Livie, Mommy is so sorry that I cannot feed you with the spoon like you want. Please forgive me when you open your mouth so big to eat and I cannot put anything in it. I promise you will not go hungry and that I will try to figure things out as quickly as I can.

Then I was so frustrated by her eating issues that as I was sitting down to eat my meal (a turkey burger patty and zero point vegetable soup (Weight Watchers), I part of my soup onto my plate and into my ketchup. If that was the end of it, I would have been okay.

That was not the end of it. My DH and I decided to do some work outside since my MIL was there to watch Livie. We weeded the food and flower gardens and then I got on the mower. I got about a forth of the way through with the back yard and got to the garden section. My DH had put up a beautiful chicken wire fence around the garden to keep the animals out of it. As I was coming around the corner of the garden, two feel away from it, the front tire of the mower pulled back and got caught on the casing for the blade. This threw me left and ran over the side of the chicken wire fence. The wire got all caught in the blade and the fence was taken down. And my DH had spent about six hours getting the fence put up. When I realized the mower was also broken, I broke down and cried.

The silver lining to all of this: My little Livie is still my little Livie and I can go home and hug and kiss her all I was even without the solid foods. My burger was not ruined by adding the soup to it. And most of all, my husband was not mad either about the fence or the mower. He told me it would be okay and that we would just have to fix them. Then he hugged me. I love my family!

My Birthday!

Yesterday was my birthday. I am now officially 32. I could not have had a better birthday. I got up and took my little Livie to my mom's house for the morning. Then I went to school to teach for a half day. I love that summer school is only half days! I took both of my classes donuts. I figured that if I had to be there I was going to celebrate with them. I took Crispy Creams in and they thought that was great.

Then I went to pick up my daughter at my mom's house. I think there is something about being able to spend special days with family. It just makes things so much more special. I picked up my niece Monica at my mom's and we went to the movie rental place. I rented a movie that I have wanted to see for a long time. I got some good time with my niece and then we went back to my mom's. There we watched the movie together.

My husband got home around five and wanted to take me out to dinner, anywhere I wanted to go. First he took me shoe shopping and got me a pair of sandals, a pair that I had been wanting for a while. He then took me to a Chinese buffet because he knows I love Chinese food. We then went to Kroger and got ice cream on the way home. He also got me the movie Unbreakable, a movie from a collection that I am trying to get all of. We watched that as we were putting Livie to sleep. It was just a perfect day!

Makes Me Smile

Today was just a fun day. I got to come home from work at 12:30 today and got to spend the whole afternoon with my little Livie. We talked on the phone with Memaw (my mom). We played on the playmatt. She jumped in her jumperoo. She even got out her Christmas toy that she is finally old enough for, a picnic basket with little food in it. Then she took a nap in my arms. My day could not have been better. What a perfect ordinary day!

Allergic reactions

Well, my little Livie is now in a full blown allergic reaction to something. She has broken out all over her tummy and back, her neck and a little on her face. She is all stuffed up, and she has an ear infection. She is remarkably cheerful for all of that. The sad thing from her perspective is that they have taken her off of everything that could have caused it. She can no longer eat her rice or oatmeal cereal, which she loves. (The only way she would open her mouth at the doctor's for the doctor to look at her throat was for me to get her spoon out and act like I was going to feed her.):) She cannot use her lotion. She cannot use her medicine for outside allergies. She is even on her first dose of antibiotics. But, she is still smiling. I love being a mommy. I love being her mommy. She was up last night three times in the middle of the night, and once I got over looking at the clock and saying, "again?", I just thought about how privileged I am to have her. I was having my own little miracle moment in the middle of the night, realizing the blessing she is and how lucky I am that God gave her to me. She is my little miracle.

This weekend was wonderful. I got to spend the entire weekend with family. Friday was my niece's birthday. We went to her house for dinner. She was so excited to get her new Hannah Montana things. Livie just smiled and begged to be fed and laughed at my niece as she opened her gifts. She also got to experience a balloon for the first time. She kept playing with the string and watching the balloon move in the air. It is really neat to watch her face as she encounters new things. I see her capacity to learn and am astounded by her daily.

Then Saturday, we went to Grandma and Grandpa's house for Great Grandma's 80th birthday party. Everyone from DH's family was there. They all thought my little Livie was "so cute". She smiled for them and was happy to be passed around. The only time she really cried was when she got to the third person in a row and she spotted me over the other person's shoulder. I had a bottle in my hand and she decided she wanted it. And some people say babies can't tell you what they want.:)

And then the fun part came. On Sunday, we went to the camp ground for a two day event. While DH and I set up the tent, Memaw watched Livie. Memaw even asked if Livie could sleep with her and Papa in the trailer for the night. We said yes and had a night to ourselves in the tent. The most fun part was watching Livie's face as she rode the golf cart for the first time. I was driving and Memaw was holding her. She just about laid on her side in Memaw's arms, putting her head out toward the side and getting a small breeze on her face. And of course she was sucking on her fingers the whole time. Then she got another first, eating oatmeal cereal. I wasn't sure she really like it until the third bowl of it had been devoured. I guess she is okay with oatmeal, too! Next week we get to try green beans or squash. I am so excited. Livie also loved the fire. She just stared at it intently like she was trying to figure out what it was. I guess you could say it was our first little vacation as a family. What a great weekend!

Miracle Moments in the Making

I never thought of myself as a blogger before, but motherhood has brought me into many new things in life. I am a new mom. My daughter Livie is my miracle. She is the baby I didn't think I could have whom we found out about last year, on April Fool's Day ironically. Having her has helped me to see a plan for my life that God set in motion years ago, but of which I am just now catching a glimpse. I went from being the late-twenties single woman who bought a house and two cats planning to be alone forever to being a woman terribly in love with her husband and greatly thankful for the beautiful little girl who goes to sleep in my arms sucking on her binky and holding on to her burp cloth like a security blanket. I feel so blessed.

I am usually terrible at writing down details because I just live life every day as it comes. My mom told me that I am going to forget all the details of these precious days with Livie and my DH if I don't write them down. This blog is my outlet to remembering all those precious moments that God has given me. Maybe this will even inspire me to start Livie's baby book, or even write down the details from her birth. (She may want them some day:)) I hope you enjoy my posts as I try to write down all the things that I will want to remember about my wonderful ordinary life as a wife, mom, sister, daughter, aunt, and friend.